How to help?

When we learn that any relative, friend or acquaintance has cancer, normally we do not know how to act around in such delicate moment. If we find it so difficult, it is even more difficult for the person that is ill. Each person reacts in one manner, but you need to know some things to help, making the situations lighter.

Do not pressure the person to talk about the topic, let them digest at their own time all information freely, without feeling suffocated. Talk about another matter, talk about good things. Whenever he/she feels to open, he/she will do it. When this moment arrives, you hear everything calmly, without interrupting it. The moment is too difficult and he/she needs to pour everything it is afflicting him/her out.

Always be around, even not speaking a word. Show yourself present but do not be all over the place, asking things. Check if it is time to eat and bring something, always being pro-active.

Do not talk about situations with people with cancer, and telling if everything went good or bad at the end. Each case is different and each person has their history.

If the person is too discouraged, only wanting to be at his/her corner, laying down, take him/her for a walk, go out, breath new air, see people and nature. It is important that the person does not feel isolated, in a sad world.

In case the person is aggressive and taking attitudes that are not normal of him/her, be comprehensive and do not take it into personal. He/she is too fragile, and the peaks of humor will happen due to all he/she is going through.

After the 3rd or 4th months after learning the diagnosis starts the phase in which the person needs help the most, because everybody goes back to their routine and step away. The person will be physically and emotionally weaker, needing a lot of support. Do not judge yourself for saying something wrong or that hurt. Everyone is learning to deal with this situation, so mistakes are common.

Whenever it is possible, make the person laugh hard, presenting humor programs or any comedy plays. Since the person is fragile, lifting the mood is a great remedy.

Take him/her to/from the chemotherapy sessions, take turns with other relatives. It is very important that the person feels loved and wanted. If the person is a son/daughter, we know how complicated it is. Give all the love and care you are capable of, spoil him/her the way you know they like, offer your lap the way only a father/mother knows how. Do not show sadness or suffering. Smiles are strong enough to make him/her move on.

Medicine is too advanced, but it is not enough to heal. Love and care give strength and spirit to overcome the most difficult battles of life. 

Do not step out. Stay close, even in silence. 

Be positive, it does not matter how severe is the patient!