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Alguém que amo tem câncer

Columnist:

Marcelle Medeiros

marcelle.medeiros@fundacaolacorosa.com

Businesswoman. Founder and Voluntary President of the Laço Rosa Foundation. Post graduate degree in social project management and marketing. State health councilor and member of the Women's Rights Council of the city of Rio de Janeiro; Labber 2015; Fellow PFP women empowrment; Winner of the Sebrae social business marathon. Speaker at national and international events.

Delicate Subject

We must speak of death. That’s a fact! And with the same courage that drives us every day to believe that in the end everything will work out. It's not easy, I know. Thinking about the possibility of death paralyzes us and imprisons us. It is as if thinking about this subject would freeze within us all the certainties of a happy ending and open a secret call for our disbelief to materialize. But even so, we need to talk about death, especially but not only when someone we love has cancer.

It is not talking about death, wanting the other to leave, but organizing the desires for the day that this time arrives, which can last for centuries or be tomorrow. The time of departure is a watch that only God controls.

And why do we need to talk about death? First, it's a unique opportunity to get even closer to those we love. It is in the thought of departure that we express hidden wills and let love overflow. And secondly because knowing the most intimate desires of those who are going to leave we can pay one last sincere homage and in a special way. Last but not least, organizing the bureaucratic part helps us say "goodbye" and saves sensitive issues for anyone who stays like cremation or burial? Flowers or no flowers? Who gets what? Do I want to be a tree or a book?

In Brazil, as in most countries of Latin origin, it is a great taboo to speak of death for those who are alive, but in the US and other European countries this awareness already exists and patient organizations approach this issue naturally with patients and family members . Of course everything has its time and this is a subject to be told at the right time of each person, but the difficult thing is to know when it is this time especially for those who have cancer. The truth is that only the heart can know the right moment, but when we carry within us that awareness flows all the easier.

I did not talk about death or last wishes with my two sisters, who left the scene before me, but I would have been sure of a last homage the way they would have liked and did not have.

Life is finite and it is up to us to make the best of the finitude of the time of those we love, so talking about death must be a living subject within us.

So, let's move on...

Marcelle Medeiros